- What am I supposed to do?
- September 29th, 2010
For the past few weeks, I have had a trying time. I've had to stress about where money would come from to pay bills, looking for a job still, and make sure that I don't blow-up on my roommates. Sadly, all of this stress channeled into an attitude, and I took it out on my mother.
After everything was said and done, I left her house being told that I wouldn't be allowed back while I still had said attitude. Knowing I would never be able to get rid of it, I've avoid my parents home.
Last night (Tuesday the 28th of September), Cam and I dropped my little sister off, and we didn't bother to go inside. I got a call 5 minutes later from my mother about how I would rather get a slushy, then say hi to her. Needless to say, she said she wouldn't talk to me anymore and I said fine.
Mom, I know you will end up reading this, but I'm not really sorry. You know my feelings on that issue, and when you pull the not talking card, I just let you. I'm tired of being the mat that he walks on, and the brunt of all the blame. I love you dearly, but I doubt I will ever go over there again.
I know God says to forgive, but I can only do it so many times before it just becomes tiresome. I have forgiven him for the past 15 years, and I'm done trying. I'm not asking you to choose because that is heartless, but until he can let go of what happened years ago, then I won't be back over.
I'm sorry we dragged you into the middle of this yet again, but I've tried for your sake for too long. I love you with all my heart, and I hope, eventually, that we may be able to speak again.